2 Sundays ago, I attended a silent sunrise dance gathering on Strand beach in Cape Town.
But it wasn’t all that pleasant…to begin with.
An organised silent dance gathering is a group of people dancing in nature, usually on a beach or in a park, listening to music through headphones. So as cool as it is to the partakers, it can look incredibly strange to passersby who, while not hearing the music, are confronted with wiggling and contorting bodies.
7.30 am – the windless morning was sunny and calm and about 80 of us switched on our headphones and started to jive around the beach on the edge of the calm, blue ocean.
There was music in my ears and I was bopping to the rhythm, really enjoying the serenity and the aloneness – I could just close my eyes and dance to the music, just by myself – exactly how I wanted it to be.
But then, a voice came through the earphones, “now you’re going to meet some of your fellow dancers.”
And my heart sank as the feeling of anxiousness drowned my body… I didn’t want this, I just wanted to be in my world.
“First up you’re going to high five the closest people to you.”
Tentatively I stretched out my hand and engaged with the first five people I saw. Some were smiling, some were comfortable with this, and some, like me, just went through the motions.
All my buttons were being pushed in the wrong way.
I felt insecure
I felt judged
I was judging
And I felt vulnerable
“Now that you’ve engaged with a few people, now I want you to hip bump 10 people,” came the next instruction.”
And my sinking feeling of dread rose.
But I did it anyway.
Just when I thought it was all over, the next command came through, “make a funny face for the next people to bump into.”
That was almost the last straw as my insecurities reached a new level. However, when a young teenager pulled the funniest of faces at me, I burst out laughing. She smiled back at me before moving onto the next person.
And then it hit me.
Why was I being so uptight?
Here I was, in the most beautiful setting, music in my ears, moving to a tune, and everything that was being asked of me was in no way threatening my being.
Here I was engaging with an act of play, and the only thing that was standing in my way of enjoyment was me…my insecurities and my self-consciousness!!!
As a coach and a trainer, I focus on the act of play a lot, as it’s both good for creative inspiration and our wellbeing, and right then I wasn’t practicing what I preached, I was an imposter, a fraud, until I decided to change it.
And I did,
There was no extra energy, or money, or effort needed to change my outlook and actions, but just by stepping outside of my comfort zone, engaging more and playing, everything changed.
I started to smile more
My dancing became more enthusiastic – uncoordinated maybe, but enthusiastic.
I started noticing the other people in my tribe.
And the whole experience became more fun.
I’ve always said that if nothing changes then everything stays the same, and for change, or play, or creativity, we need to take a step outside of our comfort zones.
Easier said than done because there are certain needs to be met, but most of which we have control over.
- We need to feel Physically safe – free from harm’s way,
- Psychologically safe – Feeling we won’t feel judged or criticised,
- Self-Belief – Understanding that the judgement of the outcome isn’t a reflection of our abilities.
- It needs Bravery – Freedom from the consequences of mistakes and achievements.
- Need to overcome vulnerability – Being ok with the outcome and learning from the process.
Subconsciously I realised that all the needs were met, and the only thing that I needed to implement the change was a bit of bravery.
I was in a physically safe space, there was no imminent danger nearby.
Psychological safety wasn’t an issue because I was in a like-minded tribe that I wanted to be in.
My self-belief was intact as I realised that if anyone did judge me it was their stuff and not mine…and I wouldn’t know about it which is often the case.
Initially I did feel slightly vulnerable – as my dance moves aren’t the best 😊, but something I could overcome
And the combination of all the needs created enough bravery for me to take the next step outwards, smiling, engaging, while having fun.
As I did, suddenly, the experience shifted completely, it became easier and lighter with the next few instructions, a breeze to follow through with.
That can be the thing about wanting to step outside of our comfort zones, the thought of it can weigh so heavy on our minds, with the assumptions and fears making up the biggest load. But when we do, we usually look back and think to ourselves, “why didn’t I do this earlier?”
And all of this happened, not only my shift, but also signing up for the next silent sunrise, just because a young girl pulled a funny face.
Play or innovation exercises are not easy for all due to the reasons I’ve written about in my previous blog posts.
But it’s outside of our comfort zones where the change, development, and creativity reside. And that makes stepping outside so important.
Playfulness promotes creativity, and it’s been proven that having a bit of fun before brainstorming and problem-solving sessions contributes to a larger variety of suggestions and solutions. However, again it requires a trip outside of our comfort zones.
What to do?
To end this post, here are 7 suggestions and tips on how to take the first step much easier.
- Create a judgement-free environment: We can feel judged, when we judge. Don’t judge others.
- Start Small: Break challenges into minor, manageable actions and celebrate each small success.
- Stay Playful: Approach new situations with fun and curiosity, using humor to ease anxiety.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Recognise yours and others’ feelings, practice self-compassion, and see discomfort as a growth opportunity.
- Build Support: Surround yourself with encouraging people and a safe environment to boost confidence.
- Set Clear Goals: Define achievable steps and visualise success to guide your progress.
- Practice Mindfulness: Use techniques like deep breathing to stay present and reduce anxiety during new experiences.
